‘Becoming a mother in your 60s is the height of selfishness’: Woman sparks debate as she slams pensioner parents who will ‘most likely’ be dead before their child’s 25th birthday

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  • British woman says it’s selfish to have kids in her 60s because baby dies when she’s too young
  • Others said nothing was more selfish than people raising their children in poverty.
  • Another said it was selfish because the child would eventually have to be a caregiver.

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A woman has sparked a heated debate when she said that having children in your 60s is the ‘height of selfishness’.

Anonymous woman shares her thoughts on parenting website mumsnet, citing a recent story by gallerist Dame Julia Peyton-Jones, who had her daughter at the age of 64.


Mumsnet user said he thought it was ‘selfish’ because Dame Julia’s daughter was likely to die before the age of 30.

The claim split the stage between some who believed it was actually a selfish act and others who did not.

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A British woman sparked a debate on parenting forum mumsnet when she said it’s selfish to have a baby in your 60s (stock pic)

The woman highlighted the age difference that will occur as the child grows older, pointing out that the mother may die before the child reaches 30

The woman highlighted the age difference that will occur as the child grows older, pointing out that the mother may die before the child reaches 30

Some said raising many children in poverty was more selfish than being late. Others said that having a baby so late in life felt like an ‘afterthought’.

The woman said of Dame Julia: ‘She will be 80 when her daughter is 16. There is a good chance that she will be dead by the time the child is 30 years old.

He said, ‘The child may die before he reaches the age of 25. She is very selfish.’

Former Serpentine gallery boss Dame Julia had her daughter Pia in 2017 when she was 64. She is now 69, and her daughter is four.

Most people agreed with the anonymous poster and said that having a baby late was selfish for both men and women.

‘IMO for both selfish men and women at that age. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should,’ said one.

Some said it was immoral to have a child at the age of 60, some said it felt like an 'afterthought'.

Some said it was immoral to have a child at the age of 60, some said it felt like an ‘afterthought’.

‘Parents are selfish, I struggle to be bothered by this, see the thread about a one bedroom flat and pregnant with a third, that is no less selfish. It’s selfish to have kids,’ said another.

‘I think it’s unfair to have a child because of the big generation gap. It depends on how open minded the woman is. It will be tough to kid with peers,’ wrote one.

However, some said there were other situations where a child was more selfish, including the parent in an unstable financial situation.

One said, ‘I really think it’s more selfish to bring a child into poverty, no matter what your age.

“Many men fatherhood at that age,” said another.

One said, ‘Some people choose to be parents in very bad circumstances, so you are being unfair.

Others said that while the move was not ‘ideal’, becoming a parent in your sixties was an ‘extreme affair’.

‘I wonder what their support network is? My own mother raised me when I was 30, but died when she was 64. My dad had a health problem, needed a longer hospital stay in his late 70s (which I don’t think is very unusual),’ said one.

“This situation would be very scary and stressful for a young teen, without siblings or another parent to share the burden,” he said.

‘I struggle to understand why anyone would wait until their 60s to become a parent. It just seems like an afterthought,’ said one.

‘Well, that’s clearly not the norm and it’s a very extreme case. But I don’t usually worry about “older moms” (ie in their 40s),’ one said.

‘Often these are people with significant resources who really wanted a child and are able to provide it with a stable and privileged life. It’s the teens giving birth that I worry about the most; There has to be a genuine struggle all-round,’ he said.

‘It’s never going to be a mass movement? Women over 60 who have children? And it will only be perceived by those who network very well,’ wrote one.

‘This baby is loved, well cared for and desired. Was [she] Selfish, yes yes. Will it really affect this cute baby more than the DC of small but toxic parents, probably not; Said another.

As someone in the ’60s I think that must be crazy! You don’t have the energy of 20s/30s/40s. This is despite the fact that I have lived an extremely healthy lifestyle,’ said one.

One said, ‘I don’t think it is the culmination of selfishness – but it is immoral on the part of the doctor.

“I think a child conceived naturally by a 48-year-old mother and a 63-year-old father is a very different matter,” he said.


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