- Paul Merson talks candidly about the fight against alcoholism, gambling and drugs
- He has now revealed that his wife Kate has to control how much money he has
- Former England and Arsenal star blows away his home deposit during lockdown
Paul Merson reveals that he is given an allowance by his wife after throwing away his house deposits through gambling.
Paul Merson reveals he is given an allowance by his wife after throwing away his house deposits through gambling
The former England and Arsenal star has spoken candidly about his past battles with alcohol, gambling and drugs over the years.
And the football pundit has now revealed that his wife Kate will have to control how much money he has after gambling their house deposits during the coronavirus pandemic lockdown.
‘I lost it all. I lost everything. I didn’t tell Kate before,’ says Merson Sun.
‘For the next week, I would watch the kids and I hated myself with an obsession.
‘ I thought, “I just want to kill myself. How did you do that? How can you take their protection?”.
Merson, pictured with wife Kate, who now has to control the amount of money he has
Merson was in tears live on TV last month while speaking about his gambling addiction
Last month, in Paul Merson: Football, Gambling & Me tonight at 9pm on BBC1, Merson broke down on Good Morning Britain after recalling his harrowing struggles with a gambling addiction.
The 53-year-old became emotional in the studio when presenter Susannah Reid read a quote from her memoir, Hooked.
In a sad passage, Merson pleads for help with his problem, even saying ‘God help me’, as he looked to overcome his demons.
During the first lockdown, he wrote a note in which he said he ‘hated’ himself when he gambled, and promised to buy a house for his wife and children.
Former England and Arsenal forward Merson has opened up on his addictions over the years
Merson apparently got emotional after reading an excerpt from his new memoir
He wrote a note during the first lockdown, in which he pleaded ‘God help me’ in the fight with his demons
‘I need to stop gambling,’ the letter read. ‘I love my wife and kids and I am very happy with them.
‘When I was in Orlando with my wife and two young kids, I was happiest in years because I wasn’t gambling, I hate myself when I gamble! I hate it.
‘Please help me Lord. I need to pay everyone back and get a house for my wife and kids. God help.’
Merson also revealed that his gambling addiction has cost him over £7 million.
And, hearing the words he had written for himself, Merson stood up before saying: ‘It’s sad. It was scary in lockdown.
‘You look at this and my mind was telling me that I had saved enough money to deposit for a house, to move us out of the rented accommodation.
‘And watching the news… as an addict I have to keep watching stuff, and the news was blowing my mind.
‘The addiction talks to you, and it’s like “We’re not getting out of it. We’ll be in lockdown forever, that’s it.”. I lost everything.’
writing for daily mail, Merson said that, at the peak of his playing career during the 1990s, his addictions spiraled out of control and he ‘went all in’.
He wrote, ‘I didn’t stop until I lost everything I had – close to £7 million, including house, car, marriage, my entire pension and my self-respect.