Comedian Rob Beckett has revealed that he struggled with suicidal thoughts.
The 35-year-old comic writes in his autobiography about his secret mental health battle after realizing that ‘I’d be better off’.
These thoughts came to the fore when Rob shot a TV show in South Africa in 2020 – despite ‘exceeding my wildest dreams’.
Revelation: Comedian Rob Beckett reveals he struggled with suicidal thoughts
‘On January 4, 2020, I was really enjoying it. I just went first class to Cape Town, South Africa filming a TV show,’ he writes. ‘The show was watching cricket, drinking beer and going on safari with my best partner and getting paid.
‘ The filming was squeezed during a nationwide sold-out tour. Happily married to the love of my life, in a single family home newly renovated with two children, I had exceeded my wildest dreams.
‘But I was the most unhappy ever. I woke up on January 5 in a five-star hotel room thinking that it would be better and easier for everyone if I died.
‘I smiled and finished filming. I went back to the UK and told my wife and my friend/manager how I felt.
Honest: 35-year-old comic writes about his secret mental health battle in his autobiography after realizing that ‘I’d be better off if I died’
‘Then I went straight to a therapist, whom I saw weekly for six months, and I still check in with the therapist whenever I felt the darkness creeping in.
‘I’m telling you this because I always promote the message that people should talk about mental health, but I rarely do.
‘So here I am talking. I wanted to die when I had everything I wanted. So never judge yourself for feeling inferior. Tell someone and they’ll help you feel better.’
Rob also points out that the pandemic helped him slow down and recover as a result.
Brave Face: ‘I smiled and finished filming. I went back to the UK and told my wife and my friend/manager how I felt,’ he said
‘The truth is, if I worked so hard, everything would fall apart. But admitting that I was unhappy and doing something about it, along with taking the time to recover and reflect, rejuvenated me,’ he writes. ‘I am now driven by excitement and possibilities, not by the fear of losing it all. I no longer set goals based on what others see as success.
‘Who cares if you’ve sold the Hammersmith Apollo and are flying first class if you’re crying in your bed. I no longer live in fear of failing to reach the idea of society’s achievement.
‘Each day can be successful if you go to bed after enjoying your day and you look forward to the next day. It’s taken a long time and a lot of travel to get to this place, but I think Rob Beckett is that guy learning to be as confident as Rob Beckett.’
For confidential 24/7 support in the UK, call Samaritans on 116 123 or visit a local Samaritans branch, see www.samaritans.org for details.